Beginning her latest career, this time as a pundit on Fox News, ex-governor Sarah Palin wowed credulous Fox viewers Monday with her observation that the planet earth, long thought to be a sphere, is actually flat. “Magellan got it wrong, said Ms Palin in the opening moments of her monologue, “he may have invented the telescope and gravity, but he was definitely barking up the wrong tree when it came to gastronomy.” She noted that over 400 years ago the Catholic church hierarchy had pointed out Magellan’s error to him when he was hired to do a stand up act at one of the many festivals back there in the olden days, “but the guy had a stubborn streak as wide as my daughter’s ass and argued with the Pope until he was wrestled to the ground by the palace guards. Even when threatened with circumcision, the worst thing that could happen to a Catholic in the days of yore, he stuck to his story. I mean, my goodness, he even insisted that our planet revolves around the sun instead of the opposite thing. So much for science, guys and gals!”
Palin went on to opine that if Magellan were alive today he would probably be spouting off about global warming and socialized medicine. At the conclusion of her diatribe, the newest addition to the Fox team pulled her top down a few inches, exposing some Alaskan cleavage. “The earth looks nothing like these fellers, it’s as flat as a rice paddy in West Korea”.