President Trump goes live on Fox News, after seeing the childish nuclear weapons cartoons shared by Vladimir Putin at his annual speech the other day.
“First he shows off his bare chest and judo skills ….. now he threatens us with amazing nuclear weapons that our intelligence agencies didn’t know he had. CIA didn’t know. NSA didn’t know. FBI didn’t know. They were all too busy investigating my real estate portfolio. Everyone knows this.
Russia has incredible new weapons. Flying robots, invisible missiles, and that supersonic ship killer ….. the Foghorn Leghorn or whatever they’re calling it. Those were amazing cartoons. Everyone knows that. Amazing.
But we have something no other country on earth has: hundreds of thousands of crazy white guys armed with assault rifles. They’re everywhere! These heavily armed lunatics are the great American equalizer. They can’t be talked down. They can’t be legally disarmed, and when activated by Facebook, they come out of their basements and kill everything that moves.
I have instructed the Pentagon to throw a net over a few thousand of these Trump voters and fly them to Russia disguised as Democrats. Take that Judo Man!”