New York Fire Department crews responded to an early morning fire today at Trump Tower, where the president maintains a luxury suite.
Two injuries were reported and the fire was quickly brought under control.
Fire Inspector Travis Gibbons reported that fire was accidentally started by Donald Trump.
“The ‘mentally stable genius’ was in the kitchen deep frying some quarter pound sticks of butter at about 2:00 A.M. He panicked when his bathrobe caught on fire. Luckily it didn’t get to the top of his head or the hairspray would have lit him up like a roman candle.”
Asked about the fire at the Monday morning press briefing, Sarah Huckabee Sanders said that President Trump often exudes so much grease from his pores, that he sometimes slips right out of bed and onto the floor at night due to his satin bed sheets.
“He’s usually hungry after one of these bed slipping episodes and makes himself a snack.”