Another shooting massacre has occurred and the National Rifle Association is hopping mad. David Keene, president of the NRA was all over the talk shows following the killing of 18 elementary school children and ten of their teachers in Sandyhook, Connecticut on Friday.
“Something has got to be done, spluttered the angry pro-gun lobbyist, “we’ve got people all over the country writing letters, twatting and tweeting, sending e-mails to their elected representatives….some are so outraged they’re even putting bumper stickers on their cars.”
Asked whether he found the groundswell of outrage unusual following such a devastating and bloody rampage, Keene replied, “no, not unusual… we’ve come to expect this kind of insanity, but this time the level of anger is off the charts. It seems to be directly related to the number of small fry picked off. How can we silence the calls for gun control if the leftist press keeps showing footage of fourth graders with their intestines splattered all over the walls of their classroom? This kind of exploitation runs the risk of causing actual legislation to be passed and we simply won’t have it.”
He went on to say, “we’ve invested millions of dollars in Congress to make sure the mealy mouthed legislators vote the way we tell them to. And for what? To have them yield to the anti-gun nuts who want to limit what an armed bat-shit crazy loner can do to people whose very existence pisses him off?
And that’s another thing…. I am sick and tired of all these bug eyed, young white Christian men coming out of their parents’ basements to exercise their Second Amendment rights. Where are all the enraged turban wearing Muslims we keep ranting about? Can’t we get at least one brown skinned camel jockey pumped up enough to blast away at cars from a freeway overpass?
You’d think with all the anti-Koran, anti-Muslim, anti-Sharia, anti-mosque crappola on Right Wing radio we’d get at least one of these guys to jabber Islamic gibberish and disembowel a nun or something, but no…. all they do is bounce their foreheads on prayer rugs five times a day. I hear that most of them don’t own even a single gun! And that’s just crazy! And to think some of these non-Christians call themselves Americans…….”
Akshully, 18 ragamuffins died on scene, 2 more at the ER. Seven groan-ups died, including the school principal. The killer (20-year-old Adam, not brother Ryan, who was at work in New York) used the kindergarten teacher’s two 9mm handguns–and it’s only fair that he started off by blowing her away at home. (“Ma, I gotta do this.”) He killed himself after shooting up the school, because he knew the NRA was gonna blow him away as bad publicity if he didn’t do it himself.