With the upsurge of suicide bombings in Afghanistan, that nation’s leaders have been looking all over the world for inspiration; how to cut down on the number of innocent victims in these devastating assaults. Not surprisingly, in looking for answers they latched onto the ideas of one of the most violent nations on earth: America. President Hamid Karzai put forward the current thinking in his administration:
“If Arizona taught us one thing it’s that the more guns you have in the hands of lunatics, the more guns you need in the hands of the not so crazy citizens. Therefore, the most obvious solution for Afghanistan is not to fear suicide bombers, but to become suicide bombers. It’s as plain as the egg on my face. From now on, every man, woman and child in Afghanistan will be required to wear a suicide bomber’s vest at all times. This way, any time someone wishes to express displeasure about anything at all, they simply detonate themselves on the spot. And the best part? No victims! Zero! Everyone who dies in any blast was a potential suicide bomber anyway. Not only does this rob the insurgents of their ability to use terror as a tool, but it also promotes job growth. Someone has to manufacture all those additional suicide vests, right? Somebody has to man the shovels to scoop up the extra body parts. And even those not directly involved in the suicide industry will benefit. How? Simple. Everytime a blast goes off making 30 or 40 new martyrs, someone has to be hired to take over the jobs those people did before they died! Once again American democracy has showed us the way!”