In an amazing outpouring of sympathy, an estimated 100,000 people filled the L.A. Coliseum and surrounding streets yesterday to show their support for a mixed race group of unfortunates suffering from dysfunction of their endocrine systems. This gaggle of exceedingly tall males, who have gathered into an organization that calls itself “Lakers”, has gained notoriety over the years thanks to a shared ability among them to push leather covered rubber bladders through metal hoops. Having no other talent to offer, these young men have managed to eke out a living by giving acrobatic demonstrations of this undeniably worthless but eye catching stunt. In fact, other affllicted men all over the nation have joined into similar fellowships adopting such colorful monikers as “Bulls”. “Pistons” and “Celtics” and have sought to capitalize on their affliction as well by virtue of their clownish performances. While in earlier times such groups of deformed individuals might have been shunned or even set aside in secluded enclaves as once were lepers, these modern day pituitary cases stoically embrace their shared affliction with public showings, leaping about in comical gyrations as they boisterously compete to be the best at something most of us couldn’t be bothered with. Once in danger of being relegated to the back waters of showmanship along with hog callers, pie eaters and serial belchers, these sadly deformed souls have demonstrated that while they may never achieve the lasting fame of John Merrick, aka the “Elephant Man”, they will surely be remembered for their shared enterprise in making us squirm with embarrassment while we pay to witness their debasement.
Victims of Glandular Dysfunction Cheered by 100,000
