Marching in lockstep in opposition to President Obama’s bombing decision in Libya, the Republicans in the House have proposed a resolution condemning the president’s acting without consulting congress, before joining NATO in the explosive exercise. “We are in favor of the bombing as part of the No Fly Zone to protect civilians, said an emotional John Boehner, we’re just opposed to Obama doing it. Not only did he not get our permission, he didn’t even have the decency to make up some BS about weapons of mass destruction as a cover story.” The GOP considered putting up a webpage clarifying their position, but discovered that they couldn’t decide whether to commend the bombing or oppose the president for doing it. “It would make us look pretty foolish if we came out against the action that we ourselves were calling for just because the president went ahead and did it.”
Eventually a consensus was reached within the GOP with only Ron Paul dissenting. Speaker Boehner tearfully announced on Friday that Congress would act independently of the Oval Office by enforcing a “No Flies Zone” in the congressional cafeteria. “We feel it’s important to defend the health and safety not only of of the country’s elected officials but their staffers as well. We therefore resolve that everything west of the salad bar in the cafeteria will be aggressively defended against the flies that always seem to crop up this time of year. We’re not bothering with a defense of the salad bar because only the Democrat Party hangs out there at lunchtime and they’d probably object to the use of peticides on environmental grounds anyway, so what would be the point?”