Muslim, Christian and Jewish leaders met Wednesday in Las Vegas to plot a strategy against the newest belief system sweeping the globe, which threatens to claw its way to the top of the heap in world religions. Known by its followers as “Mysteriooze”, this new religion has burst forth with unprecedented acceptance, mainly by young people, who see its teachings as superior and more relevant than anything currently available in the world wide smorgasbord of religious thought. At its base is the belief that the universe was born in the eruption of an especially impacted pimple on the backside of “Buddahhbing”, a bad tempered creature of unimaginable power possessing eight or more noodly tentacles and a seething hatred for circus clowns. According to Mysteriooze scripture, Buddahhbing made the earth 10,000 years ago as a repository for His feces and then created Man some 4,000 years later as caretakers for said waste products, when dinosaurs failed to meet His expectations. Brother Krank, an apostle of Buddahhbing, lashed out at the Las Vegas conferees, insisting that opposing the will of the Great One would only awaken the slumbering creature and incur His wrath. “Didn’t they learn anything from the Crusades,” asked Krank rhetorically, pointing out that Christians and Muslims fighting during the Crusades over who was most worthy to serve Buddahhbing was counterproductive. “We are all His janitors and he has equal contempt for each and every one of us. When we die we are all flushed down the Holy Crapper and only those judged to be worthy will be allowed to shovel sh*t for eternity in the afterlife”.