“The powerful head of the Vatican’s saint-making office, Cardinal Angelo Becciu, resigned suddenly Thursday from the post and renounced his rights as a cardinal amid a financial scandal that has reportedly implicated him indirectly.”
The Vatican’s Holy See-and-Say, confirmed Thursday that Cardinal Becciu was given a saintly “heave-ho,” out the door of his exquisitely expensive office in Vatican City.
The Holy See-and-Say is the office of the Vatican that names a new pope, once the old one is past his “use-by” date.
Ordinarily, Becciu would have taken part in the raucous pin-the-tail-on-the-pontiff selection party, that concludes with a puff of white smoke up the Pompous Pope Picking Chimney. Not any more.
Cardinal Diogenes, the frocker of Mother Church, or the Church’s Mother Frocker, as he is known among the Vatican Butt Boy Choir, said that Becciu has been relieved of his duties and that his personal house boy and bed warmer has been reassigned.
“He no longer have-a the golden ticket on the Vatican-a jet. His-a cash counting machines have been put in-a the storage. And he hasta make-a his own meals which can only be Rice-a Roni or Top Ramen noodles. Hes-a been a bad boy.”