Conservative drug addict and talk show host, Rush Limbaugh used a segment of his radio program yesterday to tell listeners that he was “mad as hell and not going to take it any more.”He was referring, of course, to his decision to launch “Operation Fat and Furious”, which he described as “my all out war against random things that frankly piss me off”.
Rocking back and forth in a fugue state of barely suppressed rage, the shot caller for the Republican Party railed against the Obama administration in general and Michelle Obama in particular. “Up there in the White House you’ve got Aunt Jemima putting her big black feet where they don’t belong, namely right in the middle of my extra large, extra mozzarella pizza. ‘Let’s Move’ she calls that subversive program of hers that infects pre-teens with thoughts of exercise and sweating.
Well, I can tell you I had a nanny of her persuasion back when I was growing up, always trying to get me to eat my vegetables. She actually refused to serve me desert one time after I hid a serving of broccoli in my napkin. Broccoli! Can you imagine? Well, my friends, the key words here are “one time.” After that episode I had that liberal thug relieved of her duties and sent packing back to that flea bag trailer park she was bused in from each day.
All these years later, here we are again, only this time we have Mrs Uppity throwing her weight around to try and force American citizens to give up comfort foods in favor of leftist socialist vegetable crap that grows in dirt! That’s right, dirt! Well, not on my watch, folks! I’m sitting here as the founder and spokesman of Fat and Furious to tell that Marxist Muslim Mammy to back off. I haven’t been this pumped up about something since I went to the Dominican Republic on a sex tour with a bucketful of (someone else’s) Viagra, and my gut tells me that many of you pinheads feel the same way. About the vegetables, not the Viagra.
Join me; you too can be Fat and Furious, it takes no physical effort, you get to eat whatever you want and just like me you’ll be completely unencumbered by the thought process.”