“It’s so simple, I don’t know why no one has thought of this before. Maybe because they don’t have my head for politics (see picture of my head). The Jews and the Arabs have been going at it for like months now, right? The Arabs… or the Palestinians… whatever… they want the same territory the Jews… or Israelis…. whatever…want, right? I keep hearing all the political BS about a two state solution, but the fact is that neither wants the other to have a state, am I right? So here’s the deal. Give Israel to the Palestinians. All of it. The Wailing Wall the olive groves, the Red Sea or whatever…. all of it. So there’s one state. And the Jews? Give them Idaho. Hear me out, okay? First… it’s a state. No one can say it’s not. Second, it’s much closer to America than the Middle East which is in Middle Earth or….. whatever.
So all the Jews move to Idaho…. all the Arabs move to Israel…. badda boom, badda bing….
These two “states” are so far apart that they can’t throw rocks or lob missiles or whatever at each other, right? Plus the Jews could learn to ski…. with the snow and what all in Idaho. Plus I hear the fishing is great, and you know the Jews love fishing, am I right?
Now I know what you’re thinking? What happens when Jesus comes back to Mount Temple or whatever in Jerusalem to throw a Rapture. He’s gonna look around and say, ‘WTF… where’s all my chosen people’, right? So we post a big sign in Hebrew or Jewish or whatever that says ‘We’ve moved to a new location’ with one of those finger pointy things on it. He’s Jesus, he’ll figure it out.
Okay, so that’s solved. Now I hear there’s some crap going on in Iranistan with Vamoose Ima-dinner-jacket. I got some ideas on that, too. Everyone comes up a winner.”