Seeking a solution to the default crisis looming on the horizon, President Obama offered a striking proposal during another debt negotiation at the White House on Thursday. “We can’t seem to agree on a deal to raise the debt ceiling, said Obama, so I propose we simply expand on a program that’s been going on for years.” All eyes were on the president as he pulled a remote control out of his shirt pocket and began a Power Point presentation. Images were rapidly flashed on the drop down screen in the Roosevelt Room as the lights were dimmed. Minority leader Nancy Pelosi stopped fiddling with her pearls and Speaker John Boehner capped his tube of bronzer as the attendees watched pictures of roads, buildings, dams, forests, factories and power plants flash by. “We’ve already sold off a great deal of our infrastructure to foreign investors, said the president, and this has been done piecemeal….that means one piece at a time,” he explained to Boehner who had raised his hand. “My solution is simple, the president went on, “the Chinese are reluctant to buy any more of our IOU’s because we’re already so deep in debt, so instead let’s give them something substantial in return for a big pot of cash. Let’s sell them the moon.”
At competing news conferences later in the day, the Democrats and Republicans voiced their views and concerns about the president’s idea.
“It’s an interesting idea and would certainly eliminate the crisis, said Majority Leader Eric Cantor, addressing a team of reporters, “but naturally since the plan came from the mouth of President Obama, my first reaction is to oppose it right out of the gate.”
Harry Reid, Senate Majority Leader was careful to parse his comments, so as to not annoy anyone in either party. “I think the idea may have merit, he said, “but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my home state of Nevada it’s that if you bring something home from the Mustang Ranch, it’s likely nothing you want to display on your mantle or introduce to your parents.”
Michele Bachmann, who represents the Tea Bagger faction in the House of Representatives was more circumspect. “I’m intrigued with the prospect, but we’d have to first get assurances from the Chinese that no homosexuals would ever be allowed on the moon. Obviously we can’t have Neil Armstrong’s rugged footprints disturbed by a bunch of Asian pansies wearing hush puppies.” She ignored a reporter’s question about whether this would include her husband, Marcus, an acknowledged fan of show tunes.
Republican Peter King agreed with his colleague and added that there would also have to be a ban on any mosques being built on a piece of real estate so close to Manhattan. “250,000 miles is practically next door to Ground Zero, he said, “and besides which any Muslims on the moon would never know for sure which direction was east, making them more radical than ever.”
Potential presidential candidate Rudy Guliani asked to comment on President Obama’s plan at a fund raiser was predictably succinct: “9/11, 9/11, 9/11.”