Speaking off the record in a room crowded with reporters, House Minority Leader, John Boehner (pronounced BONER) launched into a condemnation of President Obama’s annouced plan to cut the Boeing C17 cargo plane from the Pentagon budget for next year. Choked with emotion, the former used car salesman decried an executive branch decision that would, he said, have an impact on the overall economy of the country. “What the president doesn’t understand is that producing the C17 creates jobs. We got machinists in Ireland, wiring harness makers in New Delhi, aluminum smelters in China, fabric manufacturers in Mexico and avionics confabulators in Pakistan all working around the clock as a team to build this all American aircraft.” A reporter from the New York Times asked the faux tanned congressman about American jobs. “I was getting to that, said Boehner, it seems there is a plant in Yarborough, Mississippi producing propellers for this crucial piece of military hardware”. A visiting editor from Aviation Week put his hand up. “Propellers? But the C17 is a jet aircraft, what are the propellers for?” Boehner sighed audibly. “Haven’t you been paying attention? Without this military contract the Billy Bob Aircraft and Fishing Pole Company would have to lay of f who knows how many hard working Americans.” Amid the rustle of notepads an annonymous voice asked, “Is there any possibility of a compromise being made with President Obama?” The GOP spokesman brightened. “As you know, we in the Republican party have been bending over backwards to work with our left -wing -socialist president and we have a plan in the works. This involves flying the finished airplanes into New York from the assembly plant in France. There, legal immigrants from Venezuela will load the planes onto rail cars where they’ll be shipped to Michigan and turned into scrap by laid off auto workers.” The Detroit Free Press representative went next. “What happens to the scrap?” Mopping bronzer from his face Boehner said, “now that’s the real genius of our plan. Since America no longer manufactures anything but debt, we send the parts out to California where they’re loaded onto captured Somali pirate ships and sent back to France to be reassembled. And the best part is, the U.S. has to borrow only $900 billion a year from China to keep the program going!”
Congress Vows to Keep C17 Flying
