Having successfully hoodwinked Republican voters with their contrived “teabagging” parties, the GOP announced today the next phase of their organized attack against the Obama administration. “I couldn’t believe it, said House Minority leader John Boehner (pronounced BONER) between barely contained guffaws, we had those red neck buffoons dancing to our tune like puppets.” Boehner was referring to the coast to coast “teabagging” gatherings on April 15, where dozens or even hundreds of gullible GOP supporters showed up in the pouring rain to protest President Obama’s alleged plan to ban a particular form of oral-to-genital sex play. “We had 80 year old grannies out there waving teabags around, said Boehner, wiping tears and bronzer from his face, “it was like watching a UFO convention!” Unable to keep from breaking up into peals of laughter, Boehner surrendered his place at the microphone to his personal assistant, Cecil Dodger, who described what’s coming next to reporters. “We’re going to claim that Obama wants your guns and dildos, he said. “Fox News will be putting out the particulars of the president’s plan just as soon as we invent it. We’ll probably say something about all Christian dildos being banned… only Islamic dildos allowed.” Asked if he thought Americans would be ignorant enough to believe such nonsense, Dodger quipped, “Are you kidding? Obama’s cutting taxes on 95% of Americans but with the help of Fox News we have them believing that he’s raising taxes on them! I predict that we’ll have thousands of flag waving Republicans out there next week dumping a million dildos on the White House lawn!”
GOP Teabagging Begets Dildo Rage
