Celebrating the occasion of his election as supreme military ruler of North Korea (again) diminutive dictator Kim Jong Il made an appearance at Party Headquarters in Pyongyang yesterday. Seemingly glued to a padded chair when the curtains on stage parted, the Dear Leader, who hasn’t spoken publicly since his rumored stroke six months ago, stared glassyeyed at the ceiling as something resembling embalming fluid oozed out of his pant legs and flies buzzed about his head and shoulders. Party Spokesperson, Ming yon Som Quat explained that the Benevolent One had his satin boxers in a bit of a twist because the voter turnout for the latest election was only 103% and to illustrate his displeasure, the Magnificent Champion would therefore not speak. Party Chairman Kom song Im Nod then ushered in a large cake baked in the shape of a mushroom cloud and the festivities went on for hours.
Dear Leader Makes Appearance
