Minnesota Recount Counted Again

Vowing to fight until he gets tired of losing, former Senator Norm Coleman told a hastily assembled group of reporters that he has every right to continue dragging out the November election battle that saw him losing his senate seat. ” Every morning I look at myself in the mirror, said Coleman, and ask myself what is more important, the citizens of Minnesota having two senators or me waging a senseless battle that wastes everyone’s time and makes me look incredibly foolish.”  When it was pointed out that every recount so far has seen opponent Al Franken garnering  even more votes than he had before, Coleman puffed out his cheeks and responded. “Look, I’ve been to Las Vegas and I’ve used the same strategy. You lose at Blackjack, you double your bet and keep playing, over and over again no matter how loudly the onlookers laugh at you.” Asked whether this strategy had eventually seen a recovery of his losses, Coleman seemed to gather his thoughts and then said, “actually, no. I maxed out all my credit cards, cashed in my plane ticket home and then hocked my wedding ring. I ended up taking a Greyhound bus back to Minneapolis, but the important thing was that I never let common sense stand in the way of achieving my goal.” One exasperated reporter wondered aloud whether Coleman thought the citizens of his home state deserved some consideration. “This isn’t about the voters, Coleman fired back, this is about me, me, me. I thought that was obvious.”