Seeking to expand its fund raising activities in Afghanistan beyond opium, Taliban leaders thought they had hit on the perfect blend of Western free market raunchiness and Mid-Eastern tight ass prudishness, when they opened a gentleman’s club outside of Kabul called, “Less Than Naked”. The plan was endorsed by Taliban warlord Jalaluddin Haqqani, who opined that naked pole dancing might be “just what the local economy needs to turn a profit”. Things got off to a rocky start when it was discovered that Islamic law tends to limit the entertainment a nightclub would be able to provide. “There would be no alcohol, of course,” said local Mullah Tazini Ghofanni, thumbing through a dog eared copy of the Koran, “no dancing, no music, no laughter, no television and certainly no women, unless covered from head to toe and accompanied by a male family member. Smoking, though, would be allowed.” Opening night was not quite the raging success that had been foreseen, with all the burkha clad women seated on one side of the place and the male customers on the other, smoking. After reciting evening prayers and sacrificing a goat, the local militia took the stage and performed a lackluster beheading of an infidel before calling it a night. “I thought one of the women was pretty hot”, said one departing patron, “but with the burkhas who can tell? It might have been my sister.”
Taliban Gentleman’s Club Flops in Afghanistan
