The Peoples’ Daily in China today reported that America had been rebuffed in its attempt to declare war on China. Seeing an opportunity to create yet another cash cow for Haliburton and its subsidiaries, Congress voted last Thursday to declare war on the far eastern nation. Unfortunately, the call to arms was premature as lawmakers found out later in the day when China’s premiere, Wen Jiabao, speaking from Beijing, stated that the Chinese government was refusing to lend America the money necessary to go to war. He added that, “Chinese manufacturers will be instructed not to produce the airplanes, tanks, missiles, bombs and ammunition the United States would need to buy in order to launch an attack against us. We regret taking this stand, but frankly, America has maxed out its credit with us.” Offering a consolation prize to the U.S. Wen Jiabao offered to buy the White House if President Obama would agree to vacate the premises by next month.” I do not wish to make things inconvenient for them”, said Jiabao, “but the place would need a thorough Feng Shui makeover before I could move in”.
China to U.S. : Thanks, but no thanks
