Speaking at his second press conference since taking office two months ago, President Obama stunned the assembled world wide media by claiming that Pakistan would no longer be considered a priority in his administration. “It’s not that violence has subsided, said Obama in his trademark measured tone, “norrrrrrrr….is it because they no longer have nuclear weapons. They do. An-n-n-n-n-d Pakistan has capitulated to the Taliban, handing over an entire province.” He paused, looking around the room as reporters scribbled and photographers clicked furiously. “I have taken note of theeeeee…….. very successful technique employed in the business world of name changing. Phillip Morris is now Altria. Blackwater is now called Z. And you no longer hear any negative press about these firms. Therefore, from this day forward, Pakistan will be known as Talibanistan’ and we’ll leave it at that”. All over the East Room of the White House, reporters’ hands shot up and shouted questions filled the air. President Obama calmly gestured for silence and then selected Brad Newkirk of CNN to ask the question on everyone’s lips. “Mr. President, how will this affect the ongoing war in Afghanistan?” Obama smiled his enigmatic smile and responded, “Brad, you’ve not bee-e-e-e-en doing your homework….. you must be talking about what is now called Af-turdistan. We stopped worrying about Afghanistan day before yesterday”. With that he thanked the members of the media and strode out of the room accompanied by his Chief of Staff and basketball coach.
Pakistan No Longer an Issue: Obama
