Senate minority leader, Mich McConnell (R-Ky) went on the offensive today in the midst of the turmoil over multimillion dollar bonuses recently paid to employees at American International Group (AIG). He expressed outrage over the outrage that is being directed toward the outrageous behavior of AIG financial wizards who were sending pallets of $100 dollar bills to power companies in Britain and Germany to be used as fuel in place of expensive coal and natural gas. Pounding the podium in the Senate McConnell called for an immediate vote on the pending G.I.F. legislation, thundering, “there seems to be a misunderstanding out there among the common dumbass citizens of this country that just anybody can grab taxpayer money during these uncertain times. My bill, the GIF Directional Accounting Act of 2009, makes it abundantly clear that this is not the case. In order to qualify for billions in bailout dollars a corporation must first prove that is Greedy, Incompetent, and most importantly an utter Failure. Otherwise taxpayer money will remain where it belongs: in the hands of the Chinese government”.