We’ve all been there. The Iphone rings, we answer and hear what sounds like a voice filtered through a garbage disposal, forcing us into what has become known as the Iphone Two Step. This is where one spins around facing each compass direction, bending over and then standing erect…. two steps this way…. two steps that way… trying in vain to find that sweet spot where the AT&T signal can get through. Oops… too late. The call has been dropped. Let’s face it, while this happenstance is annoyingly frequent, due to AT&T’s crappy service, speaking to someone by phone is the last reason for purchasing Apple’s iconic hand held device. No, we got it in order to run applications, and there are thousands. I got one last week called “Fart Detector.” When somebody cuts one but doesn’t own up to it, this application allows me to zero in on the culprit; once the source of the nose bomb is found, the Iphone sends out a piercing screech that turns all eyes on the offender. Really cool app for use in elevators. I once got a standing ovation during a 32 floor ride. To be fair, everyone was already standing but you get my drift. A recent application release turns the Iphone into a kind of blender. You drop it into your coffee and it vibrates to stir your cream and sugar and then when removed, it shakes itself off like a golden retriever. My personal favorite of the newbie apps is the pedometer/calorie program. Before you step outside for that power walk, you slip the Iphone between your butt cheeks and off you go. It will measure your stride in inches, feet or kilometers and calculates calories burned by the bun sweat produced. One note of caution: remember to turn off the “Fart Detector” app before you go walking.