Let’s get one thing cleared up right out of the gate. In this remake the earth doesn’t stand still. Keanu Reeves does. Alot. Apparently the producers of this sci fi recycle couldn’t find a ventriloquist dummy to stand in for Klatu, the visitor from outer space, so they got Keanu instead. He delivers his unemotional lines unemotionally, which is pretty much his trademark, as the special effects engineers struggle to move the action along. Who is he? (He’s Klatu, haven’t you been paying attention?) Why is he here? What does he want? He tells Jennifer Connelly that he’s come here “to save the earth”. Naturally, we all think he means us humans, but no. Who would have thought Keanu Reeves capable of nuance, but there you go. he means what he says, he’s here to save the planet. Oh sure, he’s gonna see to it that a few squid and bacteria survive, but the human race is outta here. It seems that humans have so badly screwed up the planet’s ecosystem that if Klatu doesn’t bikini wax the globe it soon won’t be habitable for the new tenants. How would you like to have Klatu as a landlord? Instead of evicting you for putting cigarette burns in the carpet he calls in a mafia hit squad to exterminate your whole family. Anyway, we move through the required chase scenes and bumbling attempts by our military to destroy the animated bowling ball that brought Klatu to Central Park, and before you know it, a cloud of CGI termites borrowed from “Red Planet” are loosed upon the world. These little guys can eat through anything from diamond tipped drills to stale Cheetos and whip around like a cloud of animated locusts, doing more damage to our infrastructure than George Bush’s administration. In the end, the only thing that saves us from extinction is a weeping Jennifer Connelly wrapping her arms around a screechy little black kid saying things like, “I love you, too”. Klatu eyeballs this crying jag and is moved to recall his termites. “There is another side to you”, he says, addressing the tearful Connelly, something both Klatu and Keanu Reeves are sorely lacking.
The Day the Earth Stood Still
