Right wing pundits from Rush Limbaugh to Glenn Beck are mourning the loss of caustic conservative gadfly, Andrew Breitbart, who died suddenly on Thursday at age 43. Breitbart, who was a constant thorn in the side of those on the left side of the political spectrum, had left a message on his answering machine, saying that he was too embarrassed to stay indoors. He collapsed a short time later after reportedly seeking absolution from a homeless man who was later questioned by police.
LAPD spokesman Raul Trotter said that Breitbart had appeared disoriented when he mistook a legless vagabond for a priest and launched into a lengthy confession of his “unpardonable transgressions” while Bud Hammer, a longtime resident of a doorway near Archer Square sipped from a 40 ounce bottle of White Traash liquor. “I din know who dis honky thought I be,” said Hammer, “he kepp goin on about how ashamed he was ’bout his manipolating video on the TV to make acorn people look bad”.
Pundits speculated that he might have been referring at least in part to a video that had been artfully edited to make it appear that a local ACORN office had assisted in the procurement of underage women for the purpose of prostitution. In fact, the video when seen in its unedited version, revealed that the ACORN employees had immediately called the police after being contacted by a man and woman dressed up in obviously phony “pimp and hooker” costumes. When the heavily edited tape was adopted by Fox News and played day and night for weeks, ACORN was put on the defensive and eventually closed its offices all over the country. Friends of Breitbart said that he was initially elated that his shameless fakery had resulted in denial of services to poor and disadvantaged people, but had later become more circumspect about his role in the debacle.
Robert Fandot, a right wing commentator for WVBS radio in Dallas, said “Andrew came to regret his new found role as the go-to guy for trashy, manipulative video. He used to call me up at all hours weeping like a little girl, saying that he was finding it more and more difficult to defend his bigoted views when confronted by liberals on TV talk shows. ‘I don’t sleep very well at night’ was what he often said.”