In the wake of his extraordinary claims regarding nonexistent voter fraud, President Trump on Friday issued an executive order, that he says “sets the course of the country for the next four years.”
“My executive order says that on January 20, 2021, the locks on the White House doors will be changed, and only I will have the key. Sloppy Joe will have a tough time getting his wheelchair over the threshold if he can’t open the front door.”
“I hear people saying that Biden may win the election. If it turns out to be a landslide for Biden, I’m willing to negotiate. I might even let him be assistant vice president to Mike Pence, as long as Mother Pence agrees.”
“I would remind people that there can be no constitutional crisis if there is no constitution. That’s why it is so important that I get my chosen stooge appointed to the Supreme Court before the election. My first order to the justices will be to appoint me ‘president for life’. After that, we don’t need a constitution. Just a lot more blank executive order forms.”