Tie Me Down

Though familiar now, with the president’s daily list of things that weren’t his fault, the members of the press were taken aback by his latest blame deflection.

President Trump appearing at a press briefing with a goose egg on his forehead, not entirely covered by his spatula of makeup, blamed the CIA and NSA for his injury.

“No one warmed me that my tie was dangling down to the floor, before I stepped on it. I tripped and crashed into a plaster bust of Stormy Daniels’ bust. They all know I can’t see my feet when I’m standing up. There is no excuse for this kind of incompetence. I mean theirs, not mine.”

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