During the recording sessions for “Help Me Rhonda”, the Beach Boys, Brian, Carl and Dennis, became so upset with their father’s amateurish meddling in the mixing of their sound in the studio, that they coaxed one of the engineers into building a phony “soundboard” for the domineering dad, who was also the self appointed band manager.
You’ve seen those “I can drive too” little car seats for the toddlers, where they get to spin a toy steering wheel, honk a little horn and push a button to make “vrooooom” noises, right?
Same idea here. Mister Dad would furiously fiddle with the knobs and switches during recording sessions, unaware that his “board” was just a make believe device to keep him occupied and out of the bands’ hair.
And that’s what we need for President Trump. There is a suitcase called the “nuclear football” that always accompanies the Commander-in-Chief wherever he goes. The idea is that the president can use the device to instantly deliver the appropriate launch codes to missile silos and submarines, ordering them to rain nuclear hell down on whatever corner of the globe he wishes.
No consultation, no permission, no negotiation, no haggling with Congress. Four minutes after he enters the codes, the first missiles are airborne. This is the nightmare scenario that was mentioned more than once during the campaign, when Trump’s volatile Twitter – finger temperament was called into question.
So ………… we have the Defense Department build an “I can drive too” nuclear football for President Trump. Unlike the real thing, this one could make sci-fi noises and display flashing lights to dazzle the childlike Trump, as he orders fictional missile strikes on Cuba and Venezuela because their leaders called him names or made rude Twitter remarks.
Pretty inexpensive way to avoid nuclear Armageddon.