Most people are aware by now that the dreaded Ebola virus is named for the river near where it was first reported in Africa in 1976. Obscure and foreign sounding, the name itself evokes fear and loathing.
So what would have happened had the virus first been discovered in some other corner of the world, where even more colorful geographical location names abide?
Imagine the talking heads on TV:
“A dozen men and women have so far been reported to have Three Cocks.”
“Airline officials confirmed it was the passenger’s Big Beaver that led to her being quarantined after landing.”
“A spokesman for the CDC confirmed that they have the man’s Rectum under control.”
“Earl Bellwether denied having Sandy Balls but confirmed that his wife does.”
“Two of the children became infected after exposure to their father’s Dildo.”
“The teenage boy said that he had been unaware of his sister’s Muff until his parents revealed it.”
“Travelers have been urged to stay out of Pratt’s Bottom until the all clear is given.”
“The CDC spokesman pointed out that Knobhead isn’t easy to get from a fellow passenger during air travel.”
Big Beaver (Canada)
Dildo (Newfoundland)
Knobhead (Antarctica)
Muff (Ireland)
Pratt’s Bottom (England)
Rectum (Netherlands)
Sandy Balls (England)
Three Cocks (Wales)