Following President Obama’s announcement last night that Osama bin Laden had been killed by special forces in Pakistan, a clearly annoyed George W. Bush was mobbed by dozens of reporters at his home in Dallas, where he was clearing brush in his backyard.
“Don’t have to go all nukular on me ….course I knew where bin Laden was, said the testy former president, “member how I told you people he was wanted dead or alive? And then (V.P.) Cheney came right out and pinpointed his location for y’all when he said the boy was somewhere north, south, east or west of Baghdad, member that? I was just saving him up for a special occasion until I got done handing off the Social Security trust fund to Wall Street. But then while I was getting ready to spring my bin Laden trap, Barrack Hussein Obama got us into two wars, got caught torturing prisoners and crashed the US economy just before the presidential election of 2008, so I put bin Laden on the back burner and forgot all about him. By the way, did y’all know that Obama was actually born in Kenya? Don’t believe me? Just ask to see his birth certificate, see what happens then.”