Sarah Palin Offered Book Deal Ya Know

“I’m sick and tired ya know, of being thought of only as John McCain’s other bimbo. Also too, I’d like to say in addition that Alaska is the biggest state in America, something I didn’t know when Katie Couric was asking me all those trick questions on the TV.”  The event was a Harper-Collins publishers’ council session held at the Starbuck’s in Legume, Indiana, the smallest venue that could be rented there on short notice. Norris (Dub) Franklin, manager of the shop, said that he had been contacted at home by the public relations arm of the publisher at 2:00 A.M. and asked to throw together a dozen pastries for the crowd of reporters and onlookers expected to be on hand for the annoucement of a multi-dollar book deal with the erstwhile vice presidential candidate and governor of Alaska. Dressed in a lowcut lavender blouse and straight skirt, Mrs Palin seemed at ease as she spoke from a small table adjacent to the rest rooms. “Am I eager to clear the sails and get my wind up, she asked rhetorically, you betcha by golly.” She went on to describe how she had managed to slip past security at the Harper-Collins offices in Manhattan in order to drop off a hand written manuscript about her experiences in the presidential race of 2008. “They had no idea it was me there in the lobby what with my windbreaker and sensible shoes ya know, carrying my book and all, because I tagged along with a group of seventh graders on a tour ya see, and made it all the way to the second floor cafeteria.”  Brad Higgins, one of the senior editors at the Collins offices said that he had been in the cafeteria for his morning coffee and had mopped up a spill with what turned out to be the governor’s manuscript. “I thought at first it might be a homework assignment left by the school kids, but the poor penmanship made me think again.” Moving aside as a homeless man lurched into the Starbuck’s restroom Mrs. Palin spoke enthusiastically about her hopes for the soon to be published memoir. “Mr.Harper or maybe it was Mr. Collins, whatever which one ya know, called my PR guys in Anchorage and said they’d be happy to send it back if we paid the postage, but instead a deal was worked out for the publishing and all. They’re still looking for a cartoonist to do the illustrations, ya know”.  After the noise of a nearby blender died down Mrs. Palin added, “I’m not at liberty to divulge the financial details, but I’m told it’s in the high three figure range, so ya know  it’s a pretty good deal by golly. I’ll finally be able to shed that bimbo/clown image that’s been clinging to me like the dingle berries on a sled dog’s ass.”