Swine Flu Hogging the Spotlight

Mexico’s violent drug gangs are scratching their heads these days, trying to figure out what happened to all the really cool international media coverage of their rampant, indiscriminate bloodletting. One of the overlords of the Mexican drug cartels, Javier Buenos (not his real name which is  actually Julio Chavez) expressed frustration over the arrival of swine flu in his country. “We stay up all night kidnapping, shooting and slashing. We finish up the evening by leaving a dozen or so heads on the front lawn of city hall right here in Mexico City and what do the newspapers  report on the next morning? ‘Swine Flu Claims Another Victim’. All of a sudden we’re yesterday’s news. Even that …. whats her name… that singing Scottish cow  Susan Boyle with the big eyebrows who looks like the result of a one night stand between Julia Child and Fat Bastard… even she gets more coverage these days”.  He paused to look out his hotel window at the deserted streets below. “It’s really sad. People are more afraid of getting the sniffles than they are of getting beheaded. Maybe we should hire a public relations outfit.”