With good natured taunts and boos Canadian citizens welcomed former President George W. Bush to Calgary as he began his “Rewriting History My Way” tour of the world. Whisked into the country in the dead of night under tight security, the ex-chief executive decried the fact that he wasn’t able to move among the boisterous crowds to be spit upon and deflect hurled shoes with his thick skull. “I’ve always enjoyed my trips to Candadia, said Mr. Bush, the queen there is one of my favorite fans and she usually picks up the tab for dinner.” Mr. Bush went out of his way to mention that no press would be allowed to attend his speech scheduled to be held in an underground blast proof bunker. “Can’t trust those reporter clowns, he quipped, one of ’em might slip a tape recorder past security and try to trip me up later with my own quotes and stuff”.