“I envy those who have died of Coby 19,” said President Trump yesterday, before knocking a golf ball into the woods. Trump was taking advantage of his first golf outing, since his BMI nudged him into the range of the morbidly obese. He was answering a very wrong, very unfair question by a reporter, who asked how he would mark the death of the 100,000th victim of the Trump Pandemic.
“Dead people don’t have to see how terribly I am being treated by the press right now. Terrible treatment. Criminal even. Reporters see me sitting on my hands and claim I’m not doing anything to help America cope. They forget I wore a very uncomfortable mask the other day for nearly 40 seconds at that Ford place.
I get tested twice a day and I’m taking Hydroxy-megalomania, to prove I can exist without a liver.” At the shrug of the searchers, unable to find his errant golf ball, produced another one from his pocket, and knocked that one into the woods as well.