On his daily radio screed, a nearly deaf Rush Limbaugh reveals shocking diagnosis.”The doctors say I am dying of shame. They tell me that my body is reacting to the toxic filth that has spewed out of my mouth for the last several decades. It’s ironic, because I was just hitting my stride in today’s swampy environment, embracing white supremacists, rednecks, and the mentally challenged.”
“The doctors have suggested I warn my listeners that I may unexpectedly burst into fits of truth telling. Like yesterday, when I praised the ACLU, for taking up that 2003 criminal case against me. You’ll recall I threw my former maid under the bus, for supplying me with the “hillbilly heroin” I needed to feed my addiction, and which made me 90 percent deaf.”
“These ‘truth fits’ are likely to be brief, if shocking. President Trump’s secret urine collection in the White House basement, for instance. Is this microphone still on?”