Help the Donald

To the tune of the Beatles’ “HELP”

When I was thinner, so much thinner than today
I had my daddy’s wealth, and always got my way
But now these days are gone I’ve lost more than I should
People say my giant brain resembles rotten wood

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
Those people on the border sure are brown
Help me dig a moat so they’ll all drown
Won’t you please, please help me

And now my body’s changed in oh so many ways
My underpanties are the biggest ever made
Every now and then they go and open up the door
Migrant kids that smell like shit …we can’t take any more.

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
I snatch the kids from parents with a frown
Help me try to act less like a clown
Won’t you please, please help me

When I was younger, so much hair upon my head
I never needed badger pelts that held on by a thread
But now these days are gone, my scalp’s more skin than hair
People say I’m Cheeto-toned, and that’s not really fair

Help me if you can, no one to sue
I’ve got this toilet paper on my shoe
I think it looks so stupid, how ’bout you?
Won’t you please, please help me