“I had a meeting, a very productive one-on-one meeting alone with Queen-mum. That’s what they call her because she doesn’t say much. For instance, when I asked her if I could meet Princess Diana, she just looked at me.
They have a different sort of government in Britain, which is great by the way … and from now on they’re going to call it Great Britain, after my suggestion …
In their government they have no Democrats, which speeds things up. Except for Brexit. Britain has been trying to leave England for a year, but nothing is happening. I told Queen-mum to try my tariffs. I said, ‘just slap a 25 percent tariff on everything coming across the border from England … they’ll come around so fast it will make your head spin.’ Again… nothing out of her mouth. I looked at her translator who said, ‘the Queen is speechless’. I think she could be deaf too. That would explain a lot.
I never got to meet with the King of England, which is too bad. I did meet Prince Phillip, their son. People are saying he thinks he’s married to Queen-mum, which is strange, but I didn’t say anything to make him look stupid, because Queen-mum is still upset with her sister, Theresa May …. something …never caught her last name …. because Theresa is off her rocker and keeps giving speeches about Brexit in Parliament, and they just shout at her.
Anyway, they gave me a nice parade, which makes up for the Royal Family. ”