Trump Symptoms

Trumpigula:
Roman emperor, around 300 BC, who was known for debauchery, overeating, and a fascination with urine.

Trumpster:
A hapless, overweight, white voter, convinced that America used to be great, but is now infected with equality and reason. Trump is the cure.

Trumpizoid:
Something round and squishy “I think this tomato is past its due date, it feels Trumpizoid”

Trumplatosis:
An inability to say anything truthful. “I’m building a beautiful wall at the Mexican border and Mexico will pay for it.”

Trumplandia:
Where low information voters dwell. Most are white, fat, watch Fox News and are receiving some sort of government benefit.

Trumpbesity:
A body condition characterized by Trump adulation and a high ratio of fat to lean, often seen in the Red states.

The states with the highest rates of obesity are:
Missouri: 30.9 percent
Iowa: 31.1 percent
Indiana: 31.4 percent
Kentucky: 31.5 percent
Alabama: 32.1 percent
Oklahoma: 32.6 percent
Arkansas: 33.0 percent
Louisiana: 33.2 percent
West Virginia: 34.3 percent
Mississippi: 35.2 percent

Trumpoximity:
An infectious fervor that overtakes Trumpsters attending one of the president’s self aggrandizing rallies.

Trumpivankis:
The clinical designation for an unhealthy fixation by a dad on his own daughter’s rack.

Trumpoids:
Malodorous nuggets of ignorance, usually followed by either, “believe me” or “everyone knows this”

Trumpstance:
A position without evidence taken in a disagreement : “3 million illegals voted in the 2016 election. That’s my Trumpstance and I’m sticking with it.”

Trumpenance:
A belief without basis if fact. “Democrats are socialists”. “Immigrants are criminals.” “Sharia Law is overtaking the US.”

Trumpunting:
Throwing an “alternative fact” into a discussion. Used most often to confuse your opponent in an argument. “The capital of Maryland is Mary.”

Trumpestures:
Hand gestures made during speaking, thumbs up, pointing, “perfection sign”

Trumpotomy:
An operation in which damaged portions of a Trumpster’s brain are restored to rational thought. The difficulty is equal to the reversal of a lobotomy, and is rarely successful.

Trumptinge:
A skin color not seen in nature. It is thought to be the result of artificial tanning and overexposure to Sean Hannity.