The Washington press corps exploded on Leap Day when Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas actually spoke during a hearing yesterday, breaking a 10 year silence.
Common wisdom had it that Thomas was actually an animatronic dummy controlled by a remote device in the pocket of Justice Antonin Scalia, who would occasionally make Thomas blink his eyes and break wind. This theory was enhanced by Thomas always endorsing Scalia’s high court opinions with the “Me Too” rubber stamp glued to his right hand.
Nevertheless, during a hearing about a gun rights case on Monday, Thomas cleared his throat and began asking questions, albeit in a stilted monotone. Reporters present at the hearing hastily scribbled his queries:
“What month is this?”
“Anyone else want pizza for lunch?”
“Is this Scalia’s day off?”
“How about those Oscars?”