President Trump tweeted out this morning that a new drug has shown “amazing and incredible” promise in fighting the coronavirus.
“Surivanoroc, which is made using antibodies from the blood of retired porn stars, is the miracle I have predicted all along. It will not only bring an end to this pandemicide, it will make the economy twice as big as it was before Obama tanked it. “
“Some very important doctors who have injected this serum into sick Covid 19 patients, say they have had stupendous results and very minor side effects.”
The CDC quietly briefed reporters, saying that Surivanoroc is merely coronavirus spelled backwards, has no effect on Covid 19, and the side effects have included some patients growing second heads.