President Orders Bow and Arrow Gear for US Army

The president says that wheels have been around a long time, as have walls. And apparently noticing for the first time that the vehicles driven by his Secret Service all have wheels …. and they work … then walls must work too. So a wall on the southern border will work. And if these ancient items work, then so too must the bow and arrow.

“I have ordered today that all American troops, wherever they are stationed in the world, be equipped with the bow and arrow. Take away the guns … take them away. Take them.
Knights of the Pool Table, led by Sir Jamsalot, shot arrows right through armor, making it obsolete. That’s how Robin Hood defeated Lawrence of Arabia. Many people don’t know that. Right now I have the Pentagon working on a missile defense system based on the bow and arrow, which is how in Biblical Times, David defeated Goldfinger, whose jawbone was used against an ass in the Philippines …. whose ass, we don’t know. Some things are a mystery. Like my giant brain.”

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