With South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham slated to announce his candidacy for president early next month, the media are faced with a dilemma. No one is certain of his preference for title. Would it be Ms or Miss? Obviously Mrs is out of the question since Senator John McCain is already married and unlikely to dump his female gendered wife during an election season, despite rumors of capitol cloakroom trysts with his Carolina Belle.
“Ahm runnin’ for the highest office in the land because ahm dismayed and disgusted by what I see on the news evah day. Dock skinned mens whoopin’ and hollerin across the deserts of the fah, fah middle east and Baltimore, pushin and shovin and generally bein’ most indiscreet”, said Graham, as he came out to announce his bid for the Oval Office.
“Johnny Mac (McCain) has assured me in the most certain of terms that should I gain the nomination of the Republican Pahty, I will not be saddled with an opposite gender vice president to run with. Ah have heaved a mighty sigh of relief at that news as mah sensibilities are much too high strung to deal with mutual wardrobe entanglements durin’ the long, long campaign ahead. I will not be outshone on the world stage by a Palin-esque clothes horse.”
Asked by the surrounding reporters as to whether he, knowing what he now knows, would have ordered American troops to invade Iraq in 2003.
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Oh, fiddle di dee y’all …. I would not have ordered those stalwart young mens (and other genders) to do any such of a thing. I would have kindly asked them to participate, commensurate with their previously made social commitments. To order them …. why upon mah word…. that would have been simply gauche and rude!”