Reacting angrily to a question from Maxim reporter Josh Handel, Pope Francis dismissed out of hand the idea that nuns are “the slag heap of broken dreams.”
“The idea that nuns turn to serving the Lord only after they’ve exhausted all possible alternatives is ludicrous,” said the Pope, speaking through an interpreter at the Vatican on Thursday. The Pontiff was responding to a barrage of questions from a reporter who was in the act of being ejected from Pope’s Open Q&A Extravaganza, a weekly forum designed “to answer questions from all media representatives on any topic whatsoever.”
While acknowledging that most nuns have faces most often seen on retired prize fighters, Pope Francis was adamant that beauty is purely subjective. “What you see is what you get,” he said, “there’s no veil of makeup or hair removal, wart reduction or eyebrow plucking.”
Pressed to answer the Maxim reporter’s final question: “would you marry one of your nuns if you were a man.”, Pope Francis hedged by saying that while Miley Cyrus appearing at the gates of the Vatican might stop traffic, most Catholic nuns dressed in a similar fashion could easily stop a clock. “And isn’t that pretty much the same thing?”