There has been much head scratching in Washington over the last couple of weeks about how to respond to the turmoil in the Middle East. The Obama administration is currently straddling that “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” diplomatic fence in offering lukewarm support for our old dictator pal, Hosni Mubarak in Egypt, while at the same time hinting that he might want to thumb a ride out of the country before someone sets his hair on fire.
“Dorothy missed her chance to leave Oz in the Wizard’s balloon, said President Obama, “but she had her ruby slippers to fall back on. As far as I know, Mr. Mubarak has no diplomatic back channel with any witches, good or bad.”
Right wing pundits have been unequivocal in their calls for the U.S to fire up the B-2 fleet and go bomb somebody…anybody. Glenn Beck summed up the conservative consensus on his TV show. “Look what happened on 9/11: we were attacked by Saudi Arabia and immediately invaded Iraq, allowing us to not only get rid of surplus bombs but eliminate stability and peace in the region.” He went on to point out that bombing Afghanistan had failed to accomplish “the mission” back in 2001 because there wasn’t anything left to blow up once the Soviets pulled out. “But Egypt is different because it has all those giant pyramids built by the mummies.”
Predictably, most historians polled on the unrest in Egypt and surrounding countries have urged caution. Professor Sanskrit Demarcus of Sanderson University pointed out that sometimes it’s better to let soverign nations solve their own problems before stepping in to seize their natural resources. “It might be better, he said, to just wait for the dust to settle and then make a deal with whoever ends up owning the store.” He admitted later that this kind of response would severely impact the profits of companies making artificial limbs for U.S military personnel.