Pressing ahead with their Marxist-Socialist agenda, the Democrat Party today rammed through legislation calling for the importation of dangerous Islamic thugs from the gulag at Guantanamo Bay into the heartland of America. Positively beaming at a noon press conference in Washington, Nancy Pelosi, the face of American Facism, announced that the parade of terrorists would begin almost immediately. “Officially these Arab baby rapers are only being brought here to answer criminal charges, said Pelosi, her Botox frozen features locked in an expression of perpetual surprise, “but in actuality our plan is much more sinister. These jihadists are being trained as guards to staff the FEMA concentration camps now under construction throughout the country.”
It had long been reported by Fox News that the Obama administration was building “re-education” camps to house patriotic Americans, but today’s announcement was the first officially sanctioned release of official news regarding the now official camps. “Only those who refuse to swear allegiance to Lord Obama need be concerned about a midnight knock on the door, Pelosi continued, “and not to worry, this won’t be happening before next year. First we have to confiscate all the firearms in the hands of private citizens. That’s what the 2010 Census is all about. The census worker bees will be offering amnesty to all those who surrender their guns and convert to Islam at the time of the interview. As to everyone else, well, I suggest you count your fingers and toes.” Asked by reporters about the “fingers and toes” comment, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs noted that former Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez had been annointed as “Torture Czar” to put together an entirely new torture regime. “None of that namby pamby sleep deprivation and waterboarding for American internees, said Gibbs, “we know that won’t work on Patriots who have been numbed by watching Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.” He chuckled before adding, “You know it’s funny; conservative radio had it right all along about everything: death panels, Kenyan president, socialist agenda, Islam as America’s official religion, Obama’s embrace of the homosexual agenda, the administration’s hatred of white people….. but mainstream America didn’t want to believe it and now the Lefties are in charge. There is one bright spot, though. I’ve been authorized to tell you that global warming really is a hoax.”