Pope Benedict XVI, visting the Al-Hussein bin-Talal Mosque in Jordan, went out of his way yesterday to include Islam on his short list of the world’s great faiths. Wearing the tallest head gear in his holy repetoire, the Mitre-D, or skyscraper, the Pope addressed several dozen curious onlookers as they gathered for their evening prayers. “I’m-a say howdy to all you Mosqu-a-teers, began the Catholic leader, flapping his arms rapidly. “I’m-a flying in here today all the way from a-Rome, and boy are my arms tired.” With the only chuckles coming from his own toadying entourage the Pope went on, “wowza, this a tough-a crowd. What I gotta do, a-strap on a pinstripe suicide vest? Hey, come on, I know you’re out there I can-a hear you breathing!” Looking puzzled, the growing cluster of Muslims began laying out their prayer rugs, a few doing deep knee bends in preparation for prostrating themselves. “Is this a – thing even on”, said Pope Benedict, tapping the microphone in front of him causing a howl of feedback. “So how many Muslims does it take to change a lightbulb? Anybody? Anybody? None! They’d rather stay in the dark!” (Ba-dump-bump) At this point the Islamic call to prayer wafted forth from numerous loudpeakers on the surrounding minerets and the crowd at the mosque began kneeling on the east facing prayer mats. Trying another tack, the Pope moved into self deprecating humor. “One-a day I’m-a giving Cardinal Mahoney a real tongue lashing, okay? I’m-a say, ‘hey Cardinal, we got a big-a problem in America with little boys being molested at your churches. We gotta inform the faithful how they can a-tell a priest from a pedophile’. Any you know what he says? Anybody…. anybody…He says, ‘you can’t … that’s the problem!’ (Ba-dump-bump) “But seriously, folks, I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress! Just kidding!” Mopping his holy brow, the Pontiff shuffled off to the waiting Pope-Mobile and his next stop on the tour.
Pope Mends Muslim Rift with Comedy Tour
