Alarmed at the increasing use of imaginative fees that credit card companies are charging their customers, President Obama today outlined what he is calling “Fee Categories”, a list of unpopular credit card charges that will become illegal in the near future. “We all know what a pain it is to open a credit card bill and discover we’ve been blindsided by an unexpected charge for writing a check with blue ink or inhaling too much oxygen. These fee categories or Fee “C”‘s as we call ’em at my house, will no longer be tolerated”. He went on to display credit card bills from outraged American consumers. “I’m holding here a statement from Mrs Eunice Bader of Youngstown, Ohio. Citibank has added a $20 surcharge because she paid her bill on time. Now, that my friends is a Fee-C. Edgar Cummings of Branford, Georgia, opened this bill from Visa only to discover that they want to squeeze out a Fee-C of $19 because he made his payment with an even numbered check. And here’s one from Eric Mendez, a returning Iraq veteran, hit by an enormous Fee-C before he even had time to unpack: American Express wants him to pay $70 because he failed to run up any charges this month.” Turning from his teleprompter, the president spoke directly into the camera. “I’m putting the credit card companies on notice; American consumers will no longer sit still while a mountain of Fee-C’s rain down on them, it’s been going on too long. Either clean up your Fee-C’s voluntarily or I’ll do it for you.”