VH1 to TVland: “Bugger Me”

In an attempt to compete with TVland’s newest offering, “The Cougar” (older women seeking  sex with younger men) VH1 has launched its most daring reality show yet. Tentatively titled, “Bugger Me”, TVland’s prime time foray will feature straight men braving the dark, leather enhanced world of gay bars and public restrooms for one night stands with smurfs, daddys and other “friends of Dorothy”. Unlike the TVland program, which will reportedly rely on innuendo and sly winks, Bugger Me will flirt with dry humping and golden showers almost from its debut showing. Casting calls from coast to coast  have reportedly brought out a cross section of the straight male population including cowboys, football players and Catholic priests who are required to demonstrate superior physical endurance and dexterity, before being approved for enrollment in a rigorous two week basic training camp. “We want our straight players to be able to hold their own”, said celebrity host George Michael, “it’s a jungle out there and we don’t want our boys ambushed at their first glory hole by vice cops or gay bashers.” Onlookers at the training sessions have reported seeing crates of cucumbers, condoms and disco CD’s being delivered daily. Some have described brutal physical workouts focused on squatting, kneeling and marathon butt clenches. Program director Clay Aiken said that the VH1 program, slated to begin opposite “Cougar”,  would easily penetrate the prime time market blowing away all competition.