What if you could just think of a location, any place on earth and … poof!…. there you are. (“Poof” means arriving instantaneously, not turning gay). Well, that’s the premise of this film, but right out of the gate you have to wonder about protagonist David Rice (see “poof” above). I mean, hey… he’s 15 when he develops this fantastic ability, and what does he do with it? Does he zip into the girls’ locker room of the local high school? Or oven the local college? Nah, he steals money from banks leaving prank IOU’s. As the plot line develops (unravels?) David gets better at this zapping around and does cool things like relaxing on the head of the Sphnix with a cool drink, but still doesn’t have that carpe diem moment. Instead he meets another Jumper named Griffin who regales him with tales of a group of religious nutbags called Paladins who spend their days zapping jumpers with cattle prods, apparently annoyed that these talented young people are wasting their God given talent by not appearing in convents in the dead of night to get an eyeful of naked nuns. Okay, I made that part up. The Paladins just don’t like jumpers and are a real buzz kill throughout the movie, because just when you think David might be contemplating those locker rooms, here comes Paladin Samuel Jackson and his gang to sprinkle dog turds on the party. If there is one thought the viewer is left with once the film credits roll, it’s that if David were suddenly given the gift of invisibility, he’s probably screw that up too.
Jumper
