A.I.G. stunned the business world today with its announcement that due to its investment blunders, the life insurance branch of the firm is now at risk. Frantic holders of life insurance policies issued under the umbrella of A.I.G. were flooding the switchboards to argue with Indian telemarketers who had been pressed into service. “I berry much wish to help the much agitated Americans calling from U.S. of America, said Ayoup Gupda, supervisor for Monde Kunte of Bombay, but they have mostly silly notions of what constitutes customer service, by Jove”. Callers from the midwest and east coast of the U.S. had reported being left on hold for up to 4 days before being dropped by the automated phone system. Asked about the possibility of life insurance policies becoming worthless, President Obama, speaking at a hastily called press conference in Washington sought to reassure the public. “No one need have any worry about these policies no matter when they were issued, he said, speaking without the aid of a teleprompter, don’t forget that the U.S. government now owns 80% of A.I.G.” He went on to say that things always look darkest before dawn and that “anyone not paid in cash for the loss of a loved one, will get the equivalent amount in government cheese”.
Life Insurance Policies at Risk
